does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
