I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I don't get it.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...