she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
