i would punch a child for taco bell
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
