I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Even my vagina gasped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
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