Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
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Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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