I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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