He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
