Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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