i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
