sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize