i wish my penis had a tongue
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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