I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
