this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
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