out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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