we have pet lesbian snakes
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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