How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
