Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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