its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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