Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'm really busy with my period
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