fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
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