His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
