dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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