I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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