i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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