If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Randomize