Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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