You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
