good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
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The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
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I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
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