after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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