im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
