Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
