I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
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First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
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Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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