Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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