I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize