Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
