I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
