around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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