the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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