Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
40s are totally the cure
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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