no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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