I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
