Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You need Xanax blowdarts
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
