i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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