Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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