the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
