The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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