well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
