I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
