it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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