sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
