I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
