New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you would pick up someone in the library
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
