I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
