I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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