I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
