4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize