Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
