Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
