Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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